Ember Exhibit

Modern Art Museum by dumpr.net

Here's a site that will suck up a good chunk of time: Dumpr "The coolest place for digital photography hobbyists". Check it out!

The Solution

This week I took a few minutes to figure out how to make these days go better. Seriously, I feel like each day I just run in a state of panic trying to catch up with the cleaning and organizing and laundry and getting the kids where they need to go. The muscle tension in my back - a long time issue for me - is getting unbearable so I decided to start with taking a closer look at what needs to be done and how I can make it more manageable. Here are my solutions:

1. Do at least 1 load of laundry every day - no exceptions.
2. Assign all the weekly household cleaning tasks a different day since there is no way on earth for me to do it all in one day any more.
3. Each evening after cleaning up the kitchen, prepare as much as possible for the next morning.

And it's working! The muscle tension isn't any better yet, but my days are better so it's a start.

Moodling

From: If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence and Spirit
by Brenda Ueland

"the imagination needs moodling--long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling and puttering"

And this is why I have no imagination lately.

When you give a kid a camera...

Self portrait. Ember up close. Part of me. Half of Ember. Yogi. Chris, Susan, and Yogi. Look carefully!

Getting out the Door

In my opinion the hardest part of my job as a stay-at-home mom is getting all three kids out the door - especially if we have somewhere to be at a specific time. This year I have somewhere to be four mornings out of five and it's now crystal clear to me that I need to work on streamlining my routine.

The other day I was working through my morning tasks - packing up bottle and diaper stuff, a bib, extra clothes and a pair of underwear for Yogi (just in case), a bottle of water for the car, my wallet and things, lunches packed for the boys for school, sweaters, indoor shoes (required for preschool) -- believe me, the list goes on. And while I'm packing and preparing all this, I have ongoing drink requests, food requests, help with the potty, I try to make the beds, get a load of laundry going, shower, dress, etc... So by the time I'm actually assisting with putting on shoes and buckling Ember into her car seat, I'm sweaty and panting. Not kidding.

And the other day when I was just at this point Yogi pops out the front door, then turns back to look at me and says with a little mischievous smile on his face, "Mama, I'm in the lead!" And I think to myself, Yes, little man, you are in the lead. And that is exactly how it feels!

Baby Feelings

When we met Ember for the first time and took her back to the hotel with us that first day, we didn't really notice any obvious signs of stress or nervousness with us. But now when I look at how different she is, I wonder if Ember really was scared to be pulled out of her little world at the Thomas Center, her quiet life in her crib. For instance, when we first got her she would scream almost panicky before she got her bottle. Was that how she learned to act in order to be fed among 14 other babies or was that because she was unsure of who we were, where she was, and how she'd get another bottle? She acts a little irritated now when she's hungry, but nothing like the first week.

And I remember clearly when we had her on the bed with us back at our hotel, alone for the first time together and I sneezed. Initially she was startled, but then she cried in a way that was so clearly sad and scared. She cried like that two times the first day, but I haven't heard anything like it since. Mostly she seemed her content happy self so we didn't really think much of it, but now my heart hurts a little for her when I remember it. I'm sure there will be more times in her life that she'll be sad for a loss that our boys will never experience. And as her mother, that makes me sad too.

My Favorite Superhero!

Infant Preschool

Ember and I had our first day of infant co-op preschool last week. I know, I know, it seems crazy to me too, but I get 3 credits for each quarter and I need the credits.I'm not sure who thought up this idea of preschool for babies, but just as you would expect the "students" were nursing, sleeping, screaming, crawling around, laying around talking to themselves -- you get the picture. But the good news is that Ember loved it! She sat up straight, eyes bright, watching all the people and full of smiles and giggles. She kept leaning forward to look at the moms sitting adjacent to us and then she'd smile big. She really is so cute.

And it's a little strange that she can sit up so well already. She's one of the youngest in the class and so many of the babies were still laying down on their backs unable to sit yet. To see so many of them together reminded me of big baby seals lined up on the dock. When you consider that Ember was basically flat on her back in a crib for the first four months it's even more amazing. That's my girl! I'm looking forward to seeing her in this class as the year progresses and it'll be fun to have this special time just with her.

From the Library Bag...

From our latest batch of library books, here are two that I thought were especially cute! If you have a little person in your life, check these out:


Alphabet Adventure by Audrey and Bruce Wood
You'll never look at "little i" the same way again!







Ghosts in the House by Kazuno Kohara

A very sweet and simple story with the perfect solution for dealing with ghosts the house!

Knitting

A few weeks before we left for Ethiopia I decided to knit a sweater for baby Ember. How hard could that be, right? She's only a few months old which means small! So, I got started on it 2 weeks ago and managed to cast on the stitches and knit the first two rows. That's it. And it's been sitting there ever since and every time I look over and see it I think to myself, you must have been out of your mind. The funny thing is that Yogi wants the sweater for himself and the other day he noticed it and asked me if it was finished. Well, if you are a #2 pencil it would make a very nice sweater, but that's it.

Anyway, the whole point to this rambling nothingness is that I keep forgetting how to knit and purl properly and I found these wonderful teaching videos which are just perfect for rusty knitters like myself. And advice for anyone else who wants to knit for their newly adopted baby? Start now before you bring her home!

Swimming Lessons

The boys had their first swimming lesson today - in the same pool where I learned to swim about 34 years ago! The pool and the most of the building has changed since I took lessons there, but I did notice that the ceiling tiles were the same. Anyway, they did great! It's so fun to see my boys start doing things since I'm not sure yet how they'll act or what to expect. Even though Beck is a much stronger swimmer, Yogi was the one who seemed to be having more fun. He just goofed around and loved every minute of it. Beck followed all the rules and tried so hard.Actually the fun started for Yogi even before we left the house. As we were walking out the door he shouted to Beck with a big smile on his face, "Look, Beck, we have our own swimming bags!"

One Last Time

Good-bye dipsy doodles! Good-bye pencil jumps!
Good-bye truth or dare! Good-bye Freddy Foo Foo!
Good-bye hot tub and swimming pool! Good-bye summer...

The Last Step

I delivered the last pieces of paper to our attorney today so that we can re-adopt Ember in the United States. This means that she'll be an American citizen and have a US passport. It's also the last step of our adoption process minus a few more post-placement visits by our social worker. The attorney has a fixed fee for adoptions ($500) plus any related court filing costs and photocopies and fees for copies of birth certificates etc... and he says that it should be complete within a month or so.

Half Birthday

Here she is! She was giggling and squealing with delight so hard I was afraid she might hyperventilate. It was adorable.

Tomorrow is Ember's half birthday and this time around I just feel like it's all going too quickly. She is such a little cutie and I'm so enjoying all her babiness. I love the way she rubs her little face with the blanket to help herself fall asleep and then sleeps with her arms up by her face the way babies do. I love the way she sucks on her toes when she's on her back. I love the way she looked at me when the sales lady at Nordstrom gave her a balloon - serious with awe and gratitude just before she went crazy, squealing and kicking her feet she was so excited. I love how she coos softly to herself when she's waking up. I love how she sits with her arms fully extended like she's ready for take-off. I love how her face lights up with a big toothless grin when she sees me. I feel so lucky to have her with us.

Textile Management

It is almost 9pm and I'm still dealing with laundry. I used to wonder what stay-at-home moms did all day and now I know: textile management. It's a never ending job and the most time consuming and boring of all the mostly boring home management tasks that I do.

This is how it works: I get up, haul a load of laundry downstairs. Bring up the clean load, dump it on my just made bed (and making the bed is only a 2 minute per day job, and I know because I've timed it!) Throughout the morning more laundry accumulates - the boys' jammies, the bibs from breakfast, Yogi's clean outfit that he got all wet while playing with the hose on the way to the car to go to preschool, the pile of white bar towels that we use to clean up spills and little messes. Ok, so now I have another load to bring downstairs. The loads just keep moving through until it's evening and we've just put the boys down and I start in on the folding. And the putting away.

But it's more that just doing the laundry. It's the ongoing job of culling through the drawers and closets pulling out the things they've grown out of. Sorting them for donation or hand-me-down. It's buying new stuff in larger sizes and then returning things that ended up being the wrong size. It's a huge job. And, I'm not even kidding, I have to go now so I can finish putting the piles away that are still sitting on my bed so that there's room for me to get in it.

Go, Batman!

Overheard while working in the kitchen as the boys played Batman in the living room:

Yogi: Batman, there's a bat over there!
Beck (as Batman): I'm not afraid of bats!
Yogi: You just tackle them?
Beck: No, I kick their asses!!

Christmas Shopping?

Idea for Chris: The condiment gun.:

The Green Spoon

This is what you look like when your brother gets the green spoon and you're willing to let your Cheerios go soggy while you wait for him to finish so you can have it.

There are a lot of conflicts here over green tableware these days.

Late Summer Afternoon

It's Over

It's the last day of summer for us and I think I have a little case of the "end of summer blues". It's not that I especially love the season, it's just that it's the only season that I do certain things like wear short sleeved shirts, or sit outside in my parents' hot tub with the all the kids in the family, or pick blackberries, or visit Yellowstone. I don't think the other seasons have exclusive rights on some of my favorite activities like summer does. And when it ends I worry and shuffle back through the days in my mind trying to remember if I did all that I wanted and enough times. It's cold out today too. Cold enough that our furnace keeps trying to cycle on and I've been wearing a fleece over a long-sleeved shirt all day.

The boys start back at preschool this week and we just added swimming lessons which start next week along with Ember's infant co-op preschool. We'll have a busy schedule and the structure is nice in it's own way, but I'm going to miss that summer sun on my skin. I didn't get enough of it this year.

Good Mom

I know this is not breaking news or anything, but being a good mom is so much harder than being a bad mom. It just wears me out. We go out to dinner which, in my book, is a treat all by itself, but then it starts.

Can we have ice-cream for dessert?
No, you already had ice-cream after lunch.
Can we go to the toy store then?
No, we have some errands to do.
But we just want to look, not buy.
No, not this time, honey.
But I'm tired of our toys.
You just got a new lego thing earlier this week.
Well, how about ice-cream then? Can we have just a little ice-cream, pleeeeease?
No, not this time, Sweetie.

I'm not even kidding. This is the actual conversation that we had tonight. Sometimes parenting feels a little like petting a cat backwards.

Just a few photos

I must be tired. I'm not coming up with any stories to share with you, no thoughts, no interesting links. Just a few photos today.

This first one was taken when we had our relatives visiting last week. Here are some of the cousins! Beck and Yogi kept referring to them simply as "our friends".
Here's Yogi on the beach on Vashon Island. He loves eating blackberries.


I posted a photo very similar to this on the blog last spring around Easter - the last time I was on Vashon with relatives! It was another beautiful day.

Ember at the Doctor

Well, our curly bear is growing! I took her to an international adoption specialist for a thorough check-up this week. When we arrived home from Ethiopia she was in the 8th percentile for weight and now she's in the 25th! She's 50th percentile for height and her development is spot on or even a bit early: she's sitting up with a straight back independently, she rolls in all directions, she's sleeping through the night, and she's started solids. Whew! That's a lot of changes for 6 weeks!

The one stumbling block we've had at the doctor is getting blood out of her. They want to do all kinds of tests on her blood, but she's still so little that the staff at the lab couldn't get enough out. So far we've been there twice and she's had 6 attempts to get the needle into a vein. They were successful only once, but they could only draw about a tablespoon of blood so it wasn't enough for all the tests. Our poor little miss has bruises on her wrists and I just can't stand to take her in again soon. I had to hold her while they poked around with the needles and I watched as she broke out in a sweat all over her head. Her screaming was intense.

The Portuguese Bridge

Ethiopia travels continued...

Our last stop on our way back to Addis after our picnic by the Blue Nile Gorge, was the Portugeuse Bridge. The sky started to look bruised and swollen and after a few minutes of a strong wind, the rain started and everyone ran for it.



Here is the actual bridge. Apparently when the rainy season is in full swing the river just roars below the bridge. There was only a small trickle when we were there.

When we got out of our SUV and started walking toward the bridge I noticed one boy walking along with us. At one point when I stopped to enjoy the view, he approached me and wanted to sell a marble cross that he'd carved. It was beautiful and only $5 so I said yes. And then suddenly a whole group of boys appeared out of nowhere and circled me, all holding out their marble crosses and baskets, and all telling me they were students. Chris was off taking pictures so I was alone. (thanks a lot, Chris!) And my hands started to sweat and my heart was beating fast and I felt so uncomfortable. Now that I'm writing it, it doesn't sound like a big deal, but when it's your second day in Ethiopia and you don't speak Amharic and you're completely surrounded by people who want and need your money, it makes you want to get the hell out of there. At least that's how I felt -- even though the boys were actually very nice.



So beautiful.

Read it

I just finished a wonderful book: Four Seasons in Rome by Anthony Doerr. It was such a treat, but more like an elegant chocolate mousse in a crystal flute than a candy bar. His writing is spare and beautiful and his observations about his baby boys and his day-to-day experiences in Rome ring true. I wish I could write like that.

Here's a bit that I especially liked:

"...over time, we stop perceiving familiar things - words, friends, apartments - as they truly are. To eat a banana for the thousandth time is nothing like eating a banana for the first time. To have sex with somebody for the thousandth time is nothing like having sex with that person for the first time. The easier an experience, or the more entrenched, or the more familiar, the fainter our sensation of it becomes. This is true of chocolate and marriages and hometowns and narrative structures. Complexities wane, miracles become unremarkable, and if we're not careful, pretty soon we're gazing out at our lives as if through a burlap sack.

Leave home, leave the country, leave the familiar. Only then can routine experience - buying bread, eating vegetables, even saying hello - become new all over again."

Light and Free

Ach, it's been so hot here. Hot and muggy. Even my knees were sweaty today. Is that possible? Can knees sweat? Anyway, we've also had a lot of visiting relatives which is fun and a little extra busy which keeps me away from the computer.

Other than that, I've been busy just catching up with life. I put so many little projects on hold during the entire adoption year -- and some had been on hold since my first pregnancy. Now that Ember is home I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Finally we're done with having babies and recovering from it. We don't have to have any more conversations about whether or not to add to our family and how. Our family feels complete and I feel light and free about it.

I don't think I realized how much mental energy I was putting into the adoption - and before that, our pregnancies. And I'm not saying that it's easy or that I'm not utterly exhausted or that I just walk around glowing with happiness. It's just that for the first time in a very long time, I don't feel preoccupied. And that feels nice.

Sweet Tooth

Earlier this week I mentioned to Beck that I had a sweet tooth. And then yesterday morning we were laying in bed chatting when we had this discussion:

Beck: Mama, you know there's something weird... (I always proceed with caution at this point because right after the boys say that I usually end up having to clean something up.)

Me: Yeah? What is it?

Beck: I looked in your mouth and I didn't see a sweet tooth.

Debre Libanos

These photos were taken on our second day in Ethiopia as we headed through the countryside toward the Blue Nile Gorge for a picnic. One of our stops was at the Debre Libanos monastery. A beautiful setting:

When we pulled up our guide turned to me and said, "They will ask you if you have mensblahblahblah." I had no idea what he was talking about so I gave him a blank look and said,"Uh, sorry?". He repeated,"You have mensblahblahblah?" I still had no idea. We went on like this a few more times until Chris got interested, listened for a moment and then looked at me and said very carefully, "MENSTRUATION." Kind of funny at the time and I'm not sure why he made such a big deal about asking me because he wasn't really asking - just informing me that women aren't allowed to enter during that time of the month. Then he went in and bought our tickets.You can see some people wearing yellow which we were told symbolizes hope. When we first stepped inside the light and air seemed so peculiar - as if we were looking though gauze. But then I realized it was just the combination of smoke from burning incense and the diffuse light. And then I heard the chanting. I would've thought it was a recording, but the floor was softly vibrating from the voices and drums. They came from below and the whole effect was other-worldly.

Babies

I think Beck understands where Ember came from and how she came to be part of our family. We've looked at lots of pictures of the people in Ethiopia and talked a lot about it. But then he'll say something that makes me think there might be some little holes in his understanding! Like this:

The other day Beck was carefully examining Ember's leg when he looked up and asked Chris, "Daddy, why are babies brown?"

Five!

A few days after we returned from Africa and I was so sick, our 5th wedding anniversary came and went without either of us even noticing it. This is not to say that I don't notice how wonderful Chris is, how he brings me a chocolate chip cookie from Specialty's Bakery when I need it most, how happy he is to see me after work, how he listens, how he encourages and supports me, how he makes me laugh! Of course, I often think about how lucky I am - we are - to have found each other. But, we missed it so now I'm thinking about it all the time! And today I found myself reviewing all that has happened to us in the past five years. It's a lot:

1. 5 pregnancies
2. 2 births, one adoption
3. bought a fixer-upper and underwent 2 extensive remodel projects, both requiring that we move out for a time
4. went from being single to having our own party of 5
5. traveled to Ethiopia for our daughter

No wonder I'm tired. And happy!

Recognition

I was away from the family the whole day birthday lunching with a good friend while Chris and the kids and my father in law visited the museum of flight. It was so sweet to see Ember greet me when I returned. All smiles and giggles, legs kicking. It's the first time where it felt like she actually recognized me as someone special to her. Since she smiles at everyone and seems to feel comfortable with everyone I haven't actually felt like she knows me as her mom - until today!

Those White Bagels!

Yesterday at QFC in the bread aisle where you can also find boxed donuts:

Beck: Mama, see these white bagels?
Me: White bagels?? (He's pointing to boxed powdered sugar donuts.)
Beck: Yeah, those are my favorite bagels!

Round 2

Yogi is wheezing, Ember and Beck have colds. Here we go again. This week hasn't been the greatest and the colds are the last straw. Well, actually maybe the moving violation ticket that I got in the mail today because of a police camera at an intersection in Lynnwood is the last straw. Especially since I know with certainty I wasn't the one driving that day. Or it could be the picnic fiasco yesterday. Blah, blah, blah. Even I'm bored with my whining.

But then today it was just me and my three and we had fun together. The boys even rode their bikes while I walked the stroller with Ember to a "magic garden" a few blocks away. They are so fun. And tonight! It's Chris's turn to get up with Ember so at least the weekend is off to a good start!

Happy Tired

Ok, ok, I admit it; three is hard. At least one of them needs something all the time and sometimes it's all three. They make up for it by being so sweet and cute all the time, but still I'm dreaming of a hammock, a good book, a light nosh, and a cold drink all by myself.

Today was hot - white and fuzzy hot. The kind of day where everything looks over exposed and a little dirty which didn't help matters. Being trapped in a small exam room at the doctor's office for an hour and twenty minutes with all 3 of them didn't help either. I'm feeling pretty burned out. Happy, but tired.

Lawn Art

Chris asked me to wipe the drool off of her face

so he could take this!

My Baby Bear

Beyond Addis

On one of the days that we hired the guide service, we took a drive outside of Addis on the paved road leading around the northern historical circuit. Our drive took us as far as the Blue Nile Gorge where we stopped for a picnic and then headed back with a few stops along the way.
As you can see in the photos the landscape was beautiful - wide open with columnar basalt outcroppings, dotted with trees and little clusters of circular mud houses topped with grass roofs. Out in the fields there were children with herds of goats or just children playing around together, men plowing small fields with simple plows and a pair of oxen, girls carrying loads on their backs along the road, people hauling water from the central pumps. The landscape reminded me of parts of Wyoming or Montana. The air was clean and the sky so big. I couldn't help but think that life out there would be all right.
We didn't see one tractor. Everyone seemed to using their own homemade plows with two oxen.Below you can see people visiting a place with holy water. They go there for healing and usually these buildings were near a church.
We were told the grass roofs need to be replaced every 10 years. I told you it was pretty!